Internet Facts

I am quite sure you have received at least a few of the e-mails telling you what to do or not to do, or warning you about something or someone, or sharing information which you actually could do without.

Some were very educational, but when taken seriously they sure can make life rather difficult. Thanks! Grin.

- I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

- I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.

- Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

- I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

- I must also send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat feces in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

- Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

- I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

- I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

- I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

- I now have to keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes more than 6 feet out of the toilet when you flush. Beware!

- I have to send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, otherwise a large dove with diarrhea will land on my head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 120 camels will infest my back, causing me to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician.

I had to share these, because a laugh a day keeps the doctor away and that is a fact which was already known long before the Internet made its entrance!