A Degree in Blond IV

A blond was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says:
"Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all."
A friend says:
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
The blond replies:
"Oh, that's easy. It's W."

No one reading this, can point a finger at her for lying. She knew her capitals.
One can not accuse her of being lazy. She put forth a lot of effort in studying the capitals.
One can not blame her for taking pride in her knowledge. She was right in her answer about the capital.

Yup, it is all a matter of perception and understanding. We may be laughing about her misunderstanding about the capitals. Or... was it a false perception on her part? She may be laughing about us, over-complicating things.

Ignorance is a bliss.

BTW, Ignorance starts with an "I"! :-D

A Degree in Blond III

A blond suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blond is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells:
"No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies:
"Shut up, you're next!"

This girl may not be as dense as she comes across. Let me clarify:

She had the notion to go and buy a gun and made a plan to barge in on her boyfriend, when he least expected it. Pretty clever, I would say.

She also was wise enough, to buy the gun at a store where either no one had ever heard of ignorant blonds and knew not to sell them one, or... she picked out a gun shop where the seller was a blond as well.

In other words, don't underestimate a person, just because of their hair color! :-)

Rien Poortvliet's Work

Rien Poortvliet illustrated children's books in his spare time, since the end of the 1950's. Since he also was a lover of nature and a passionate hunter, he also made illustrations for books about hunting, written by one of his hunting buddies, Wil Huygen.

In 1968 his publisher suggested Rien became a full time illustrator, which he did. Unfortunately, there was not much work and in 1972 Rien decided to publish a book himself. The book, titled "Hunting drawings", consisted purely of drawings and pastels and was about animal life and his beloved sport, hunting. The book sold well and in 1973 he published another one, "The foxes have holes", also about wildlife. In this book his handwritten notes were published as well. He also made a similar work concerning the life of Jesus Christ.

In 1976, Rien Poortvliet and his buddy Wil Huygen published "Life and Work of the Gnomes". This book was actually born out of fun, but lead to international fame. More books of this little people followed, along with many others. An extensive list of all his books can be found here.

After Rien's death, Wil Huygen continued publishing books written by himself, with many drawings and paintings Rien had left over from former works.

A Degree in Blond II

Two blonds are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says:
"Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blond says: "Here, let me see!"

So, the first blond hands her the compact. The second blond looks in the mirror and says:
"You dummy, it's me!"

I am glad she at least recognized herself in the mirror.

Have you ever watched "Ghost Hunters", or "Most Haunted"? All that fancy equipment they use to record sounds, and hopefully catch images of ghosts, are not necessary in our house. It is definitely haunted, without a shadow of a doubt!

Every morning the same aberration chills me to the bone. This ghostly image makes sounds and even responds in a likewise manner. That gruesome, pale, bewildered face keeps staring at me until I finally have the courage to turn my back on it, relieved by the realisation: "Oh, that was just me!"

About Rien Poortvliet

Yes, another great artist!
Marinus (Rien) Harm Poortvliet was born on August 7th 1932 in Schiedam, The Netherlands, as the oldest of four sons of the plasterer Zacharias Poortvliet and Cornelia Hermina de Boer.

Rien Poortvliet married Cornelia (Corrie) Bouman on May 23, 1956. They had met at college in Schiedam. Rien and Corrie got two sons, Harm en Tok and lived in Schiedam.

His talent manifested itself at an early age, but his parents were set against Rien becoming an artist. After attending school, he became the youngest co-worker at an advertising bureau, where he could vent some of his artistic talents.

After having served his time at the Royal Navy in 1954, he found a job as an illustrator at Lintas, the advertisement bureau from Unilever.

Since the late fifties, Rien did illustrations, in his spare time, for several publishers. Most of his work was for children's literature. Rien was a fervent lover of nature and hunter and much of his work also was published in hunting books. In the late sixties, Rien decided to take the plunge and became a full time book illustrator. In 1969 he and his family moved to Soestduinen, the Netherlands.

Due to lack of work and having to support his family, Rien published his first book in 1972. In 1976 Poortvliet and his colleague Wil Huygen, published the first book about a subject that would give them international fame: Gnomes.

His work made him financial independent and Rien could do whatever he liked. In 1979 the family moved to Soest, to a house with a better work shop for Rien.

Rien Poortvliet died of bone cancer on September 15, 1995 at Soest, at the age of 63.

See also:
Rien Poortvliet's Work
Rien Poortvliet's Economical Impact

Procrastination

Some days I just can not seem to get going. No energy, no gumption. Mentally I want to, but physically I don't. What a dilemma, sigh. I resort to coffee to at least try to wake up, haha.

To all of you who know this feeling too well.... Good morning! Welcome to the club. :-)

Why don't we all sit down, take our time and talk about it. That gives me a good reason to justify my procrastination.

More coffee, anyone???!!

A Degree in Blond

Being blond myself, I can appreciate a good joke at the expense of blonds. I sympathise and empathise though, since I have experiences some blond moments myself. It may be a bit embarrassing when it happens, but they make for a good laugh afterwards.

I can't help it, I think the jokes are hilarious.

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The very blond wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said: "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband asked: "Who was that?"
The wife answered: "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

I honestly don't believe it pertains either to only blonds, or to just women. So, if you would like to share a "blond" moment, I am all ears! :-)

Frugal

Many jokes go around about people living in countries other than ours. Their typical habits and/or behavior tend to lend themselves for it. The Dutch are known as tradesmen and as being economical, especially when it comes to money (some might even call it stingy, hehe). I guess it's true. I don't pass up a penny on the ground!

My grandfather always used to say: " The money lies in the street. Who can't honor the little, is not worthy of the great", ( free translation ). He would pick up empty bottles laying in the shoulders or bushes and cash them in for the deposit. Every now and then he would go to the dump and go through the trash. He would come back with a load of perfectly good stuff people had thrown away and hold a garage sale. He had a nose for making a quarter out of a dime.

So, how do you know you just passed the home of a Dutchman?
When you see the freshly washed toilet-paper hanging out to dry! :-)

Do you know any jokes about the Dutch? Please share. I think we all appreciate a good laugh!

Mortician's Humor

Before you think this is just a morbide post and assumingly an offensive one as well... you are totally wrong! Keep in mind, not all is what it seems.

So, keep on reading before clicking away due to you probably being outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

Sign in a store window:
'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ALQAEDA TERRORISTS, THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN SOLDIER!'

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia . However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.
And after all, it is just a sign.

You may wonder what kind of business would dare to post such a sign.
Answer: A Funeral Home

I am glad you hung in there. When I first started reading this, I almost went through the roof by such a bold and insensitive stand, taken by this store-owner. Reaching the end and gaining knowledge of what it really was about, got me in a stitch. Who said morticians had no sense of humor? :-)

Seriously, I wish there wouldn't have to be any signs like this. It would mean there would be peace, safety and security for every one. For now, I will keep dreaming on.

More Sales With Less Costs

You may be one of the entrepreneurs who has a business online. For you to be able to sell your product, it is inevitable to offer several payment solutions to your customers.

If your clients can not make credit card payments, you may be missing out on some great sales. In case you do offer credit card payment, you may be paying too much for the service you have.

Either way, it is definitely worth to look into a service that focuses on the needs for your business. I would recommend Five Star Payments. Not only do they save you time and money, it may result in a lot more sales as well!

The Golden Years Poem

Aah, the Golden Years! There is a Dutch saying which, literally translated, goes like this: "Aging comes with deficiencies."

Yeah, tell me about it. The "health" road is getting bumpier by the day.
Maybe you can relate to this, although I hope not! :-)

Senior's Poem:

A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.

A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.

The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.

The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze.

The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.

The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.

But what I'd really like to know...
Is what tells each one where to go?!

What used to be a common, simple cold, which would go away by itself in a few days, has become a major issue. It has to be fought and kicked out with some potent medicine. No wonder they call it the Golden Years. They certainly are.... for the pharmacy industry, hah.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. I would be screaming in pure agony if they did!

Funnie Situation

There are times when things coincide and make for a funny or hillarious situation. Nothing was planned, it just occurred that way. To be present at that moment and be able to pass it on, is great. Better is, when it is recorded, like those America's Funniest HomeVideos.

Here is one of those situations and someone was so clever to put it down on paper:

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon.
With great emphasis he said,
"If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said,
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said,
"And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing,
"For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

Thanks for taking the time and sharing. I know we all have experienced things like this. I will be more dilligent in looking for them and putting them on paper.

After all.... a smile a day keeps the doctor away! :-)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Part II

If you thought you had heard and read all the answers.... think again! So many people, so many opinions.

I can tell you one thing. All these answers may have been formed of the persons opinion, perceptions and considerations. But if they would all share and be open to someone else's thoughts on this, we might come to the right answer.

GRANDPA: "In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."










BARBARA WALTERS: "Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road."







JOHN LENNON: "Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace."











ARISTOTLE: "It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."












BILL GATES: "I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra... eh, reboot."







ALBERT EINSTEIN: "Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken ."











BILL CLINTON: "I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken ."











AL GORE: "I invented the chicken!"













COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"













DICK CHENEY: "Where's my gun?"











Hillary Clinton: " I have vast experience with chickens and if elected, I will ensure that EVERY chicken has the ability to cross any road they desire."






Every one of them may have a small part of the truth and if we put all the pieces together, we may come to the whole truth.

I am still left with another question though: which part of these answers would be true?

Watch Out

Sometimes I wonder what society has come to. There is hardly any situation to be found, where someone is not trying to scam you ,or steal from you. They always find new ways to take advantage of your ignorance or instinctive reactions.


If it was just a material thing that would be stolen, okay. Don't get me wrong, that is bad enough. It may cause you some grief and inconvenience, but hat can be replaced. To have your identity stolen is a totally different case!


I received this in an e-mail and would like to share it. Better be safe then sorry!


NEW WAY TO DO CAR JACKING

You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rear view mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.


When you reach the back of your car, that is when the car jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.


A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands. So now the car jacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!


If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away! Remove the paper later.


A warned man (and woman, as the case may be)......

Cruising The World

I didn't think I would have sea-legs. The sight of all that water around tends to make me kind of nervous and dizzy. But those huge cruise ships I probably would not have any problems with. It is like a separate small world out on the ocean. Very safe and secure. I would not even notice I was out on the water, unless I would be standing at the railing.

There are so many different ships available to take a cruise. Each cruise line has their own advantages and passenger policies, but all are focused on making the stay as pleasurable as possible.

Norwegian Cruise Lines for instance, has a crew-member for practically every cabin. You would be waited on hand and foot. They also give you the option to make some excursions before and/or after the cruise and their bargains are one of the best you can get.

The Royal Caribbean Line is more intend on activity and offers a wide variety of entertainment on their ships. The excursions are more exciting and unique and this cruise line would be an excellent choice for the explorers amongst you.

At Princess Cruises, the approach is a little different from the others. Before booking the vacation, you can express you preferences, choose the cabin you would like, and eat whenever and whatever you want. The kitchen is always open.

I don't think it matters much which cruise line you end up with. They all will make your vacation unforgettable, relaxing and exciting. Isn't that what vacation should be all about?! :-)